Whenever I go to bed in pain, I have the worst nightmares. It’s like my brain doesn’t know what to do about the pain, and just sort of siphons it into some of the most horrific imagery it can dig up.
Last night I had a horrible series of nightmares, most of which I don’t remember come morning, except one about running from some sort of huge disaster. I lose track of Tempest and can’t find her anywhere. A building nearby collapses just as we escape it, and I suddenly realize she’s still inside. I run back in and find her unconscious, trapped under rubble. She’s covered in blood. She’s alive, and I’m able to remove most of the rubble off her. She wakes up briefly and tells me, “Mommy I can’t see”.
“You have blood all over your face, you won’t be able to open your eyes for a while, it’s okay I’ve got you. I’ll carry you.” I pick her up in my arms and run back to my family, and she says again, “No mommy, you don’t understand. I can’t see.” She opens her eyes and I see empty sockets where her eyes have been torn out. All I can think is, she’ll never read her books again. When I finally woke up I cried. It was awful.
I never take medication at night (as in, just before bed) unless it’s really, really bad because I always feel like it’s a waste of meds. And then this shit happens and I regret it the whole next day when I’m exhausted and freaked out after a non-stop-nightmare-a-thon.
- altarflame said: I’m so sorry. Nonstop, recurrent, TERRIBLE nightmares drove me to near sleeplessness in 2008 - it was the main reason I sought counseling for PTSD. That shit is just awful.
- azdesertrose said: That is horrifying. Yikes. I’m sorry you had such a horrible night.
- nonvolleyball said: oh my god, that is TERRIFYING. I feel like I tend to have nightmares when my body’s trying to wake me up for some reason (usually because I have to pee)—so maybe being in pain has the same effect? still no excuse for your brain being a jerk, though.
- babyslime posted this