Anonymous asked: I'm 5 months pregnant and planning a natural/water birth at the birthing center with midwives. How did you keep the "What ifs" at bay when you were planning your births? I Do NOT want to get transferred and have been trying to prepare for the best natural birth I can get. I hope this question makes sense.
The best thing you can do is educate yourself, and make plans for everything. You cannot control what happens in your labour, but you can try your best to plan for alternatives and prepare yourself emotionally so that you don’t fall apart if there is an emergency. If you end up transferring for whatever reason, a sense of loss, or guilt, or fear are all totally normal. That’s okay, and it’s okay to mourn the loss of the peaceful birth you and your baby deserved to have. That’s not selfish: that’s human nature.
Part of making it through birth, any birth, is learning to let go. Your body will do what it needs to. Give it the right tools (healthy food, water, rest, and love) and keep breathing. Stay in your body when it’s intense and try not to run away from what you’re experiencing. You cannot control your labour or force it to do something it won’t, but you can try to trust that your body is doing the right thing.
Prepare for the possibility of a transfer, and tell yourself that if it happens you will be okay. Have support people with you that you can count on to help advocate for you in the event of a transfer, and can be YOUR cheerleader through labour and not focus on anything else but you. A good support person will be telling you that your choices about birth are the right ones for you, not trying to convince you of something else. Read real sources about the things that worry you (ie. hemorrhage) and find out how rare these complications are and how they’re handled, know that midwives are trained physicians who have expeirence in all manner of situations and are everything your OB can be and more, minus being a surgeon. They know how to handle situations that arise, know when it’s a good time to transfer, and bring equipment to your home birth to handle a crisis. Other than an OR, they have everything on hand needed to address birth complications. Talk to your midwife more if you’re worried, and get some reassurance from her about her skills and how she’s handled emergencies in the past.
And keep breathing. :)