Anonymous asked: I know marika's mom is crazy but don't you think a mother has a right to be disappointed her teenage daughter is pregnant and ruining her life.
In what world is it acceptable to express your disappointment with your child’s choices by shaming and humiliating them into NOT EXPRESSING THEIR NATURAL EXCITEMENT OVER THEIR BABY TO THEIR OWN FRIENDS, lest it be awkward for YOU? Because that is literally what her mother asked her to do. Don’t talk about it. To anyone, because she didn’t want people asking her questions.
Even though Marika doesn’t live with her, or even in the same town, and hasn’t since she was 13.
Even though her mother doesn’t visit her, or spend any time with her anyway.
She can be disappointed all she wants, lord knows I have been, everyone is entitled to their emotional responses… what you aren’t entitled to is hurting other people with them. I can be angry, or hurt, or disappointed, or ecstatic or whatever… but I also love my sister and support her because her choices are hers to make. Her mistakes are hers to make. This is her life, she’s living on her own and she’s doing it however the fuck she’s doing it. It’s my JOB as her family, as her sister, as her former guardian, to do everything in my power to love and support her through that. I give her advice, I tell her if I think she’s doing something that’s going to fuck her up, and she chooses to either listen or ignore me, but I’m not going to do things that permanent fuck her up, shame her or humiliate her simply because her choices differ from mine. That’s a pretty shitty thing to do to someone as a sister, let alone as a parent.
And if you’re the kind of person who thinks her mother’s actions are okay, or explainable, then you’re a pretty shitty person too. fyi.
She’s also not “ruining her life”. Her life is changing, and it is very different from the original plans she had. That happens to most of us in some way or another. I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a teen mom who said the child they willingly and carefully chose to raise had “ruined their life”.
Curtis’ father once implied to him that having him young “ruined his life” and how he should “make sure not to knock her up, or you’ll ruin your life too” and look at how strong and secure it made their relationship!